With more people than ever answering the call of the wild, we at Yeshiva Outdoors want to make sure that this Purim, besides being joyful and entertained, you are prepared for whatever may come. Follow these simple tricks and you’ll be happier than Haman when Esther invited him to the private wine party (You know, right before he died a miserable death)!
During clear nights, consider sleeping under the stars in order to have a less in-tents experience.
Everyone wants to cut weight from their backpack, but no one knows what to take out. Look at it this way: The average human can survive for three weeks without food. How long are you going camping? Less than three weeks? Drop the food, and you’ll feel like you are walking on air the whole trip! (See tip 6 to further lighten your load)
The best time to camp is actually when nature is at its most inhospitable. Think about it, there are fewer large, potentially dangerous animals out when the weather is un-bear-able.
Sometimes, you might need to backtrack. No worries! Most people don’t know this, but many compasses also have a “south” setting. Just follow the white or non-red end of the needle.
Never use a GPS if you think you are lost. At best, these devices can only tell you where you are to within 20 feet of accuracy. Before you used the GPS you knew exactly where you were and what your position was—i.e. You were lost, and in a tough position... Which is better, precision or 20 foot margin of error? You decide…
For ultra-light backpacking, leave your pack at home! Pro-tip: if it doesn’t fit in your cargo pants, you probably don’t really need it.
There’s no reason to clean or maintain your gear. It’s obviously been made to survive being dirty and beat up, it is outdoor equipment after all! Also, a manual is a transmission for a truck, not a book—there’s no reason to ever read the instructions. If it is supposed to do something, it’ll be intuitive. If, however, a piece of gear should fail or stop working, the best practice is to simple berate the outfitter or gear shop you got it from. This way, they know you are serious. Only an amateur would have read the warning label. Use phrases like, “Who do you think I am!?” and “What do you take me for, an idiot?!” or, “It came like that!!” They will see your expertise and will immediately provide the necessary services.
With these tips you now have all the secrets of the big names in outdoor guiding, such as Davy Crocket, Lewis and Clark, and Dora the Explorer. Now get out there and have a great time, remembering to keep the local SAR unit on speed dial—you’re probably going to need them.
(This has been a satirical message from the director. These “tips” should not be mistaken for actual advice. For real expert assistance in planning a Kosher group camping event, trail coaching, or Jewish nature learning and spiritual guidance, contact us at info@yeshivaoutdoors.org and PURIM SAMEACH).